Wednesday, November 15, 2006

"i can't breastfeed in public!"

do you have superhero friends who can whip out a boob and breastfeed while they're shopping at the grocery store, drinking a latte, and talking on the cell phone all at the same time WITHOUT anybody noticing what they're doing? have you tried to nurse at the mall but can't get your milk to let down because you're uncomfortable and stressed out about continuously "flashing" the passersby? does your baby hate to have a "discreet" blanket thrown on top of her head? is she so active and curious that she comes off the breast every 2 minutes to look around and see what's going on, while your boob flops out and your milk sprays everywhere?

don't worry...you are not alone.

unfortunately, i do not have any magical cure for this but i can tell you what i did. i tried carting pumped breastmilk everywhere to avoid the nursing-in-public problem, but then i was paranoid about keeping it cold enough. i tried nursing in bathrooms (so gross and inhumane, but we've all been there, done that). i tried nursing under restaurant tables in corner booths but my baby would knock her head on the table and get angry.

in the end, you're a nursing mom and your baby needs to eat -- there will be a time when you HAVE to nurse in public, so take some tips from me. and with some practice, you may not be nursing in the check-out line, but you may be able to get out of the house for more than 2 hours at a time!

my best advice to you is to get used to dressing in layers. wear a t-shirt or other shirt with a cardigan or zip-up sweater/sweatshirt on top. when it's time to nurse, find the most discreet place you can -- not because you need to be embarrassed about what you're doing but because it will make you feel more comfortable and, therefore, it will be easier for your milk to let down. put your baby into position (cradle hold hides the most), reach up under your t-shirt to unhook your nursing bra, pull the sweatshirt out around your baby's head to make a little "boobie shield," then quickly lift up the t-shirt and shove your baby's head onto your boob. there will be enough "coverage" with the sweatshirt, the draping t-shirt, and your baby's head to cover most of your boob for most of the nursing session. if, like my kids, your baby likes to come off and look around, you'll just have to keep bending over a bit and pulling things down and around to keep covered.

and when all is said and done and it's time to burp, hand your baby off to your husband/partner/friend/mother/etc (if somebody is with you) while you re-adjust your breastpad, bra, shirt, etc. if nobody is there with you, just pull down your shirt, pull your zip-up sweatshirt around your floppy boob, and burb your baby. you can always re-adjust and re-hook once baby is happily in her stroller.

the bottom line is that you do not need to be embarrassed to nurse in public. it's your right to feed, and it's your baby's right to eat. there will be times when you will "flash" somebody, but, if you think about it, they will probably be more embarrassed than you, and, in all reality, after going through the birthing process with a group of strangers, flashing a quick nipple should now rank low on your embarrassment list.

but if you're having a hard time making it work and you and your baby are not quite the boobie-duo of superheros, then get yourself a zip-up sweatshirt or button-up cardigan and you will be in business! good luck!

Monday, November 06, 2006

pumping at work: how do i keep my breast milk supply up?

you will probably realize that you do not pump the same amount at every feeding while at work, nor do you pump the same amount each day of the week. it is very common for working moms to pump the most at the first or morning pumping session than at the end of the day. similarly, it is common to have the most milk on monday and practically nothing left at 3:00 on friday. if this is happening to you, it's okay. pumping is not quite like nursing in that a pump can't get out quite as much as your baby can, nor can you get quite as "stimulated" for production as you can with your baby (unless your pump is extremely cute and snuggly).

what does this mean in practical terms?

1. TRY VERY HARD NOT TO MISS YOUR MORNING PUMPING SESSION. excuse yourself from the meeting. put your phone on "do not disturb." let your co-workers know that this is not negotiable. this is when you'll get the most milk, so dedicate yourself to it.

2. LEAVE SOME EXTRA TIME FOR PUMPING ON MONDAYS. after a weekend with your baby, your boobs will still be on their weekend production schedule once monday comes (especially monday morning). give yourself some extra time. there is nothing worse than needing to make a meeting in 5 minutes when you still have milk gushing out of you. give yourself 5 minutes extra or so. if you don't need it, great. but you'll be happy if you do.

3. WORK FROM HOME ON WEDNESDAYS. my midwife told me this one, and i think it's brilliant. i was able to do it with my first child. the idea is that your milk supply diminishes after a week of pumping all day, so if you interject the week with some "real" breastfeeding with your baby on wednesday, you can keep your supply up more easily. of course, this is not an option for everybody, but if there's any way you can even alternate wednesdays at home every other week, that's still great. or even just go in to the office at noon instead of 9:00 and nurse your baby with that morning milk. how i did it: i had my mother-in-law come to my house on wednesdays. she would take care of my daughter while i "telecommuted." when it was time to nurse, she'd bring me my daughter, i'd nurse her, then give her back. it was so tremendously helpful to be at home, to hear her, smell her, and nurse her on those wednesdays. and because my health provider suggested it, i had that support when i proposed it to my boss. (get yourself a good speakerphone with a mute button so you can listen to conference calls while you nurse!)

4. THE OBVIOUS THINGS. load up on water, not coffee or diet coke. the water will definitely help your supply. bring "mothers milk tea" or "fenugreek" pills to work and keep them in your desk. have lots of pictures of your baby around. relax.....learn to ignore your emails, blackberry, phone, etc. if you are worried about a project or deadline, your milk will have a hard time letting down, and you won't get as much out. (release the tension, release the flow)

Saturday, November 04, 2006

"i want to drink my wife's breastmilk"

i've been watching my "google analytics" to see what key words and phrases people are using to find my site through google, and apparently there are a lot of guys out there who want to drink their wives' breastmilk. so here is a post for all you guys out there.

it may seem a little strange to you that you are fantasizing about latching on and seeing what it's like, but it's really not all that weird. you've always loved her boobs and now your little son or daughter is hanging on them all day, apparently enjoying him/herself, so naturally you want to see what all the fuss is about, right? really, it's okay. it's not all that weird.

first, though, you'll need to see what your wife thinks about the idea. although your wife might be just dying to have one more mouth sucking the literal life juice out of her body, you can probably assume that she's not. as such, i'd suggest you wait to discuss your newfound interest in dairy until AFTER she has figured out how to breastfeed (it's not as easy as it looks in the movies), AFTER her nipples have healed (if they were cracked or sore), AFTER she's had her 6-week postpartum check up (no sex till then either, guys), AFTER she's maybe gotten some sleep (like when she starts dreaming again), and AFTER she's started showing some interest in you again as a man, not just as a dad. Okay, so maybe this means that you will never get to ask her (I wink, but we all know it's true). But, my basic point is that she might get really pissed off at you if you are drooling all over her boobies when she feels like crap, hasn't slept, is still in pain, and is questioning your abilities as her life partner in this whole parenting thing. there is a point in most nursing moms' lives when they cross over from being a frustrated, confused, exhausted breastfeeder to a relaxed, i-could-breastfeed-and-sow-the-fields-at-the-same-time, breastfeeder. you'll know it when you see it, and that's the time when you too can cross that line into getting in on the action.

if you do find an appropriate time to ask her about it, i suggest you make it sound non-creepy. for example, "this may sound weird, honey, but can i see what it's like for a second?" is much better than "i'm dying to suck on your tits all night like junior does, babe." just let her know that you are interested in seeing what breastmilk tastes like and how breastfeeding might be different than what you normally do when you "suck" on her boobs during regular foreplay. (note #1: your baby is REALLY having at it when he does it, and it's a MUCH different sensation for her) (note #2: no, nursing does not arouse her, or at least not in the way you might think it would)

she will be able to tell you how to do it, and you both can have some fun seeing if it works. you probably will get a few little sips in your mouth. it will be warm and much sweeter-tasting than you may expect. this is when you come off her boob and tell her what it's like. a comment like, "wow, that's sweet" will most likely be appreciated, since moms can be quite defensive and proud about the quality of their milk! then (and this is important), you stop. please do not ask to nurse all night or get a belly full of the liquid gold. first of all, that milk belongs to somebody else (your baby), and second, that's just kind of creepy.

okay, so what do you do if your wife is not really interested in having a grown man belly up to her milk bar? you can suggest instead that you dip a finger in some breastmilk that she's poured into a glass or bowl. that way, you can see what it tastes like without really crossing any weird boundaries. actually, lactation consultants recommend that moms take a taste of their milk so that they know what it tastes and smells like. that way, they'll have a better idea of when their milk has gone "funky" in a bottle (if they pump and store for bottle feedings later).

good luck out there, boys. i'm amazed at how many of you are secretly looking for websites that discuss this issue. it's really not that big of a deal, as long as your wife is cool with it. remember - those jugs are hers. good luck and bottoms up!

 
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